


Art is Better Than Life

by SongbirdAli



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Artist Sam, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, Fantasizing, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Protective Gabe, Sabriel - Freeform, Smut, bartender gabriel, not out of the closet sam winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-17 16:36:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16520102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongbirdAli/pseuds/SongbirdAli
Summary: Sam is finally out on his own at the age of twenty five.  An artist who's paying bills by doing sketches for the local police department in Covedale, he's caught off guard when Gabriel walks into his life and causes him to face up to his greatest secret.  Gabriel is the local beloved bartender and has spent his adult years mixing drinks and healing the emotional wounds of his customers but will Sam be the one to heal him?





	1. Chapter 1

Sam had grown up in this town.  He spent his entire life living in the same house, on the same corner, with the same people and now that he was moving out on his own things just felt...uneasy.  The alarm had gone of at least ten minutes ago but his limbs felt heavy with the weight of possibility and anxiousness. This was the last morning he would wake up in this bed and stare at this ceiling.  Taking a stabilizing breath he rubbed his sleepy eyes and groaned as he finally sat up. The chill of the hardwood floor had a sobering effect on this morning. The last morning.

 

"Hey, Sammy! Come on, breakfast is ready... lazy ass!" His brother Dean's yell from the bottom of the stairs drew a lopsided smile across his face.

"Yeah, yeah.  I'm coming." He threw his clothes on and tossed his bedding in the only box left in his room.  Folding the lid down, he shoved his hair from his face finished getting ready before hefting the box.  With one last glance around the room, he headed for the kitchen and what smelled like Dean's famous pancakes.

 

Dropping the box with a thud at the bottom of the stairs, he smiled as he watched Dean singing low under his breath while flipping the golden cakes onto a plate.  His older brother was such a tough guy all the time, it was nice to see him doing something so domestic once in a while. Sam was ready to move, his new apartment was great, but he knew he'd miss moments like this.  Dean spun to drop the plates onto the table and caught his brother's gaze.

"What are you gawking at, get in here and eat, dummy.  They're gonna get cold." Dean settled at the table, spearing a huge bite already dripping with syrup.  Sam sat down across from him and dug in. No one makes pancakes like Dean. Coffee however, was another story.  He choked as he took his first sip. He shot his older brother a look that expressed just how bad the coffee was and Dean just shrugged and sipped his own.

"Everything in the truck? I don't want your crap littering up my house." Dean grinned as he teased his brother.  He knew he'd miss him but Sam being out on his own was the best thing for him.

"Yeah, everything but that last box in the hall.  You ready to move all this crap up two flights of stairs?" Sam smirked as he watched Dean's face fall.  

"Remind me again why you had to have this particular apartment when there are so many available in Covedale that AREN'T on the third floor?" Dean's annoyance was old news, he'd complained about this move loudly and often since Sam signed the lease.

"The view is amazing.  Wait until you see it, you'll get it then."  Sam grinned back at him, dimples on full display, and finished up his breakfast.

 

The two men rinsed their dishes and downed the swill Dean called coffee before heading out.  The ride to Covedale was thirty minutes of almost total silence while they both let memories, hopes, and concerns wash over them.  They weren't far from each other really but they'd been all the other had for a long time. Their parents had died in a car accident when Dean was just old enough to assume legal responsibility for Sam, and ever since they'd been each other's support system. However, over the last couple years Dean had grown more and more concerned about Sam holing up at home when he could be out with friends, dating, and other things someone his age did.  Their musings were cut short when they arrived at the apartment building. A hundred year old brick building with three stories and doorways too low for Sam's height but Sam loved the history and architecture and Dean knew his practicality wasn't shared by his younger brother. Sam loved the aesthetics, no matter how inconvenient.

 

The two men started carrying boxes up the stairs and by the third trip, needed a break. "Thank god you bought new furniture.  Moving all that crap in too might have killed us. I hope you tipped the delivery guys." Dean side eyed Sam as he whined.

"Of course I did, I'm not as cheap as you are." Sam chuckled as Dean's jaw dropped in outrage.  Dean's penny pinching was infamous and poking at it was just too easy.

The door to the apartment building swung open grabbing both of their attention.  Sam's eyes blew wide at the sight of the small but muscled blonde man. The attraction was instant and frightening.  He felt exposed in this moment in a way that he wasn't ready for. Dean turned abruptly when he heard the sharp intake of breath that Sam didn't mean to take.

 

"You alright Sam?" His brow furrowed as his younger brother fidgeted with his shirt and wiped his palms on his thighs.  Something was up. The truth was Sam was still solidly in the closet, no one knew about his private thoughts, especially his elder brother.  Thoughts he'd been ignoring since middle school that told him he was gay. Thoughts he'd tried to ignore out of fear but that were increasingly insistent the older he'd gotten.

"Yeah, yeah, you ready to get back to it?  We've probably only got a couple more trips." Sam seemed distracted as he spoke and Dean couldn't help but think it was related to the man headed their way.  He jumped off the tailgate and strode over to meet him. A grin broke out across the smaller man's face as he approached.

"Hey there, you must be the new neighbor!  I'm Gabriel, but my friends call me Gabe. And you are?" Dean shook his hand and gestured to his brother.

"I'm Dean, but that guy's the new neighbor.  Sammy! Come here and meet Gabe." Sam froze where he stood with his back to the two of them.  He could feel the anxiety building in his gut and just wanted to hide. "Sam? You ok?" Dean was insistent but it took everything Sam had to turn and make his way over to the two of them. Gabe's brow creased slightly as Sam approached.  His anxiety was obvious and Gabe knew from experience what was going on.

"Hey there, you're a tall drink of water!" Gabe held his hand out to a blushing Sam who wiped his palm on his denim clad thigh before offering it to him.

"Hi, sorry I'm always sweaty.  I'm Sam. You must be Gabe." A smile drifted across Sam's face as the smaller man's eyes caught his own.  They were that golden hazel that's so rare and just seems to glow, Sam was speechless.

"I am.  And you must be extremely uncomfortable." Gabe shot same a wink and Sam dropped his head and smiled.  Dean made his way over to them with an armload of boxes.

"Sam, we gotta finish up so I can get to work.  You know how Cas gets if I'm late." Dean let his eyes pass between the two of them noticing how neither of them turned to look at him as he spoke.  He cleared his throat and Sam's head jerked toward him.

"Yeah, sorry Dean.  Nice to meet you Gabe."  Sam started to walk away when Gabe called out to him.

"Hey, beanpole, which apartment are you in?  I'll come by later and see if you need anything." Gabe's smile was infectious.  Sam stuttered his answer as Dean watched, shocked at what he was seeing.

"Uh, 302 but you don't have to.  I'm sure I'll be fine." Sam spun on that last word and headed quickly for the door with his brother close behind.  

 

Dean didn't say a word until they got into Sam's apartment with the last load of boxes.  He'd needed a few minutes to think though how he wanted to say what he was thinking. Once the door was shut and Sam had collapsed on the couch, Dean snatched up a dining room chair and sat it in the living room facing Sam, the back between his spread knees. He draped his arms over the back and looked thoughtfully at his little brother wondering how he'd missed it for so long.

 

"You know Sam, I've never seen you react to someone the way you reacted to Gabe down there." Dean chewed his lip, thinking through how to get this conversation started.  He'd never struggled to talk to Sam before but he wasn't sure how to bring this up without Sam shutting him down.

"I was just anxious Dean, you know how I am with new people." Sam looked toward the window and then closed his eyes against the fear that was building in his chest.  He wasn't ready but he knew Dean was going to ask the one question he wasn't even remotely prepared to answer.

"Sam, I always thought it was strange that you'd never dated or even talked about being attracted to anyone.  I mean, you're almost 25, it's not like we're kids and I'd make fun of you or something, but the way you looked at Gabriel was the first time I'd ever seen you look genuinely attracted to someone.  At least that's the way it looked to me. I'm not saying you're bi, gay or whatever, it's not my place but you know that I will support you no matter which side your bread is buttered on, right? I don't want you to be afraid to talk to me about anything." Dean looked intently at his hands, the chair, the wall, anywhere but at Sam who was about to jump out of his skin.

"Dean.  I'm not attracted to Gabe, I was just nervous.  Calm down. Now, you better go so you're not late and I've got a hell of a lot of unpacking to do."  Sam stood and made his way toward the first tower of boxes to pull one open. Dean dropped his head onto his hands and sighed.  That went well.

"Ok Sammy.  I'm sorry I brought it up."  He clapped a hand down onto Sam's shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "I love you, little brother.  You know where I am if you need me." Sam, nodded and mumbled a quick thank you as Dean made his way to the door. Just before Dean pulled it shut behind him, Sam cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"Dean!"  His older brother stopped abruptly and turned back to catch his eye. "When I know, I won't hide it from you. I promise."  Dean smiled and gave his younger brother a nod before closing the door and heading down to his truck.

 

Maybe he was totally wrong about Sam's attraction but he knew what he sensed coming from Gabe even if Sam wanted to ignore it.  When he thrust the front door of the building open, he almost hit the man in question with it.

"Gabe! I'm so sorry, man, I didn't see you coming." Gabe frowned in mock annoyance.

"Trying to kill me, Dean, and we just met!" Dean softened at his words, Gabe held the door as Dean walked through shaking his head.

Dean yelled back over his shoulder at Gabe's smiling form.  "Hey, take care of Sammy for me. He's stubborn but he's a noob."

"I'd consider it a pleasure, you be safe!"  Gabe took the stairs two at a time as he climbed to the top floor.  He smirked to himself knowing that gorgeous giant lived right across the hall.  He could have told him but for now he'd just wait for the moment when Sam figured it out for himself.  Until then, he'd take whatever little moments he could. He thought he saw some attraction in Sam's eyes when they were chatting.  His body language definitely screamed that he was digging him but he didn't want to assume. The last time he'd assumed had been a painful incident so unless he was sure, he wasn't going to ask.  

 

The moment he hit that top stair, Sam's door popped open and out walked the man that had been occupying his thoughts for the last hour.  A messenger bag was slung across his body with a sketchbook in large hand. He looked stressed and ruffled but damn good to Gabe. Sam stopped when he saw the smile that was stuck in his head.

"Gabe..." His long fingers combed through his shaggy hair uncomfortably like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't.  Gabe grinned at his discomfort.

"Hey there big guy, leaving so soon?"  Gabe shouldered into the wall at the top of the stairs, hoping it would coax Sam into a conversation but it only made Sam want to escape.

"Uh, yeah, there's something I need to do.  I hope you weren't coming all the way up here to check on me." Sam looked shy but hopeful and Gabe didn't want to disappoint.

"Well yeah, Sambo!  But, I'll definitely come back later.  I'm guessing the kitchen isn't unpacked and I have to leave for work around 5 so I'll drop off some dinner.  We can't have you wasting away or Dean might come back and whoop me." Gabe grinned up at Sam who'd made his way closer to the top of the stairs.  Sam's eyes caught his for just long enough to let Gabe really take in the color. That swirling blue and green with a touch of gold was just distracting and he caught himself going slack jawed.

"You don't have to do that.  I can always order in." He bit at his lip anxiously while Gabe's soft smile grew.

"Nah, it's my pleasure.  We're neighbors! I'll see you around 5."  With that, he patted the muscled upper arm of the gentle giant and walked past him.  Sam, turned and watched him go, a puzzled expression on his face. Gabe called out as if he'd read his mind, "Oh, I'm just across the hall.  Yell if you need anything before then." He winked and sent Sam's head spinning before he pushed through his door. Somehow Sam made it down the stairs and over to the large concrete slab behind the building.  He seated himself on one of several benches that faced out over a drop off that led to the beach below. This incredible view was one of the things that Sam loved about this place but now, all he had was a ton of anxiety and a need to draw.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam had been unpacking some of his artwork since he came back inside. Sketches and paintings were strewn over the back of the couch and onto the coffee table while he decided which to hang and which to store. A pencil, some oil based charcoal, and sketchpad was his constant companion and kept him from thinking too much when his thoughts were bringing on anxiety. This time however, it hadn't done the trick. No matter how he tried, he couldn't escape Gabriel and he had three sketches to prove it. Rough, hastily drawn renditions of his crooked smirk, and his laughing eyes, but he was most pleased with the portrait.  It was a more serious look, contemplative. While he was happy with his work, he wasn't happy with the anxious feeling crawling around his gut. It was that feeling that caused him to look up at the clock on the stove and right as there was a knock on the door. Sam blew out a stuttered breath and hesitated before he heard Gabriel's warm tone vibrate through the door.

"Hey Sambo, you in there? I've got spaghetti!" This guy definitely wasn't about to be ignored.  Taking one more deep breath he plastered on a smile and greeted his neighbor.

"Hey Gabe, that smells awesome. Thank you." Sam held his hand out to take the bags from him as the shorter man pulled them back slightly.

"Ah, ah, ah... I get to lay everything out. It's my masterpiece after all. You gonna invite me in?" He was persistent but the smile on his face was warm and playful. Sam couldn't really tell him no and if he was honest, he didn't want to.

"Alright, you win. Come in." He pulled the door open wider and combed nervously through this hair. "It's not much, I've barely unpacked anything, but you can put it on the table." Sam stepped back into the living room area and watched Gabe lay out his dinner on the kitchen table. Gabe carefully placed everything from flatware and linens to serving dishes and plates for spaghetti, salad, and bread. It was a feast, a far cry from the hastily thrown together dinners they had at home.

"This ok?" Gabe turned to face Sam and caught sight of the artwork laying all over the living room. His jaw dropped. "Sam...did you do all this?" His eyes roamed over every piece as he walked around the room. He stroked his scruff thoughtfully and paid no attention to the very uncomfortable but hungry giant munching on some garlic bread.

"You like them?" Sam mumbled the words softly after he swallowed, suddenly feeling very exposed. No one but Dean had seen his artwork as of yet. He'd just made the decision to display it this afternoon and already someone was examining it. Someone he knew he wanted to impress, even if he wasn't ready to admit it. 

"Sam, these are amazing. This watercolor landscape with the stream cutting through the trees is gorgeous and this sketch of Dean is so lifelike. You're really talented." Gabriel's eyes were wide as they turned back to Sam in disbelief. 

Sam cleared his throat and drew closer to the other man, scanning over the different drawings and paintings as he walked. "Would you like to have one? It's ok if you don't, you shouldn't feel obligated, but it's the least I can do. This looks just delicious and I'm starving." He gestured to the food emphatically and watched as Gabe's smile turned into a lopsided grin.

"Are you kidding?! I'd love one! You pick for me.” Sam laughed and set aside three that didn't have sentimental value and motioned for Gabe to choose.

"Oh hands down the landscape. But you have to sign it for me. I have a Sam Winchester original, I'll be damned if it isn't going to be signed." Gabe grinned playfully at Sam and he couldn't help but smile back. He’d never given any of his artwork to anyone, not even Dean.  Sam took the painting and a black pen and scrawled his name across the corner, careful not to take up too much space, before handing it back to Gabe. 

"Thank you, Sam. Really, this is special. I couldn't be happier." Sam smiled his response and shoved his large hands into the pockets of his jeans with a shrug.

"Well, I better be going. I've got the late shift tonight and drunks aren't patient." Gabe laughed at his own joke and headed for the door before turning around suddenly, nibbling his lip. "You know, you can come by if you like. I work at the Roadhouse on Route 42. You shouldn't have any problem finding it. I'll be there until closing at 1am so feel free to come visit, you know, if you want." For just a moment Gabe's confidence seemed to waiver, Sam instinctively jumped in to help.

"Yeah, actually, that might be nice. I could use a drink. I'll get some more unpacking done and then I'll come by." Gabe's shy smile went full grin as he headed out the door. He turned and caught the big guy's eyes before pulling it shut. "Later Sammy. I'll look forward to it."

Sam collapsed into the chair in front of his cooling dinner though he wasn't sure he wanted to eat now. What on earth had he done?

It was 11pm and Sam had finally managed to get himself out the door and over to the Roadhouse.  He'd showered and put on fresh clothes, the whole time chastising himself for thinking about Gabe and what he might find attractive.  He may not be ready to tell anyone else but he knew what attraction felt like and he was definitely into Gabriel. The question was, is his friendly neighbor just being friendly?

He pushed through the door of the bar and immediately caught Gabe's attention.  A crooked smile stole across the smaller man's face as he waved him over.

"Hey Sambo!  Pull up a stool, I was just beginning to wonder if you were standing me up!" Sam smiled and shook his head as he slung a long leg around the well worn bar stool. Gabe laid a hand on Sam's tanned forearm as he leaned slightly across the mahogany bar. "What can I get ya?  We've got almost everything on tap." He gestured down a row of brass tap pulls and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Sam nibbled his lip and stared at the options, "Um, I'm not sure.  I'm not a huge beer drinker so nothing too...hoppy?" Gabe turned to face him, a playful gleam in his eye.

"So you're not a drinker but you came to the town bar.  Did you come to see me or are you a liquor man?" The wink that came with that question made Sam's stomach curl.  He cleared his throat nervously before answering.

"OH well, yeah, a whiskey on the rocks would be great right about now." He scrubbed his sweaty palms across his thighs as he spoke, looking incredibly uncomfortable but good enough to eat as far as Gabriel was concerned.  A small blonde in a curve hugging t shirt and jeans came out of the back room with some clean glasses, watching Gabe and his handsome patron. Dropping the glasses onto the rack she wiped her hands on her apron and made a bee line for Gabriel.

"Who's your handsome friend, Gabe. You're holding out on me." She grinned at him as he tossed an arm around her shoulder.

"Jo, this here's Sam Winchester.  He's new in my building so I invited him over for a drink. Sam, this is Jo Harvelle, aka. owner of half the hearts in this bar.  Her mother Ellen owns the other half and the business." He smirked as he spoke but Sam got the impression that he wasn't all that happy to see Jo.

"Come on Gabe, you know you can have the ones that don't swing my way." She winked as if she was letting Sam in on a secret, but something about the way she did it didn't sit well.

"It's nice to meet you, Jo."  Sam hoped his lackluster greeting would send her on her way, but she was not so easily dissuaded. 

"My friend here was asking for a whiskey rocks, so I'm off to grab that and I'll be right back." He caught Sam's eye as he spoke, hoping Jo hadn't scared him off.  The shy smile on Sam’s face was reassuring so he nodded his thanks and took his leave. Jo made several attempts to make small talk, only to find it was falling on deaf ears.  Truth be told, he was not interested, annoying the young barmaid with the lack of attention she was used to getting. His eye kept pulling toward Gabe as he handled a customer and then made his drink.  

"Alright Sammy, I can see that you're interested in a whole other kind of buffet.  I'll let Gabe take care of you." Before Sam could protest she'd spun on her booted heel and headed for the pool tables.  Sam's face flamed. He popped a couple olives from the container in front of him and focused on the saltiness to try to distract himself from the panic that was building in his chest.  No one had called him out like that before. He’d flown under the radar for years and Gabriel was making it harder to hide. 

Gabe dropped a fresh piece of ice into Sam's glass and slid it in front of him, taking in the change in Sam's features.

"You alright?  Jo didn't come on too strong, did she?  She likes to flirt a bit to pick up more tips."  His brow furrowed as he searched Sam's face for a hint of what was wrong.  He reached out again to touch his arm and Sam jerked back. Gabe’s eyes went wide.  Something was definitely off.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not sure what's wrong with me.  I'm just feeling really hot. I think I'll step outside for a sec." Sam's words rolled out too fast and his panicked dismount from the bar stool drew a few looks.  He almost ran for the door, and barely made it outside before he was bent over a bush losing every bit of the spaghetti he'd eaten earlier.

Gabe watched Sam’s escape with concern.  It only took him a minute to make a decision.  "Hey Jo, can you cover me? I gotta go." Jo nodded her response and waved him out the door before continuing her conversation with a tattoo covered beast of a man.

When he found Sam, he was pacing in the grass at the edge of the parking lot, chest heaving and wiping his hands on his thighs. Gabe knew a panic attack when he saw one.  Running across the parking lot, he called out to him. "Sam! You ok?" Sam nodded and waved Gabe off but he knew better.    
  


"Sam, I'm a pest I know but I can't leave you out here like this when I know you're not ok.  Are you having a panic attack?" Gabe gently laid a hand on his broad back as he spoke, trying to ignore the way the muscles rippled when he moved. "Please Sam, let me help."

"I don't know, my heart is just racing.” His hands gestured wildly as he spoke. “I've been feeling antsy all day but I can't..." Sam drew another deep breath and pulled at his t shirt while he paced.

"Let me get you a drink of water and a towel, I'll be right back.  Don't go anywhere!" Gabe ran as he spoke and busted through the door like a man possessed.  He made short work of grabbing what he needed, waved a final goodbye to Jo and headed back to the parking lot to get to Sam.

When he returned, Sam seemed a bit calmer, sitting in the grass nervously plucking at the blades. "I'm sorry Gabe, I didn’t mean for you to go to all that trouble. I just can’t think of a time when one’s come on so fast." His hands moved over his face wiping away sweat and maybe some tears.

Gabe dropped down next to him and handed over the bottle of water. “You've had a stressful day, your body needs a break.  Maybe you just needed someone to talk to a little more than the whiskey." He laid the towel onto Sam's bent knee and smiled gently up at him.  All Sam could think about was laying his head on Gabe’s shoulder to wait for the churning to stop. He shook his head and looked away. 

"You just met me and already I'm a pain in your ass." He wiped his face with the towel and sighed heavily. "I gotta call an uber and get home. I'm sorry Gabe, I guess it wasn't a good night to come out."

"Uber?!  Hell no. I'll take you home, I'm leaving anyway." Sam started to argue but Gabe wasn't having any of it. "Nope, no arguments. It's time to go."  

Sam rinsed his mouth again before spitting into the scrubby grass and rubbed his face with the towel one more time before following Gabriel to his car.  He almost made it in but had to slip the seat back all the way to allow for his long legs, smiling triumphantly at the pained look on Gabe's face. "Alright Sam, we get it, you're tall.  No need to rub it in the short guy's face."

"I can't help it if you drive a tuna can around." Sam joked and surprised himself.

"OH! He has a sense of humor too!  Looks, talent, and humor ladies and gentlemen.  We have ourselves the total package." Gabe grinned to himself as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed home.  Sam just shook his head and laughed. The first full laugh Gabe had gotten out of him since they met. "So did Jo scare you that bad?  She comes on strong but she's a good kid."

Sam huffed louder than he meant to. "Oh she's fine, just not my type that's all." As soon as the words escaped his lips he wanted to take them back. He knew what would follow.

Gabe laughed, "Yeah, she's not my type either." Sam breathed a sigh of relief.  He was sure Gabe would ask him which team he batted for and though he wanted to finally admit it to someone, he couldn’t seem to form the words.

They pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building and began the climb to the top floor.  Sam took the lead and Gabe followed behind trying to keep his eyes off of the well formed ass in front of him.  With just a couple steps to go, he found himself sighing in relief.

"The climb doesn't get easier, you just get less winded." Gabriel quipped as they took the last step and headed for their doors.  As they grew closer to the end of their evening Gabe's warm palm slid into the small of Sam's back. The touch lit a fire up Sam's back and down to his toes.  As if he'd caught himself doing something he shouldn't, Gabe snatched his hand back and cleared his throat. "Thanks for coming out tonight Sambo, I'm sorry it wasn't such a great time but I was real glad to see ya." His eyes shot to his feet as his hands slid into his back pockets.  Sam smiled softly as Gabe shuffled his feet.

"Thanks for the ride Gabe.  I appreciate it. I think I'll try to get some sleep.  G'night." He awkwardly reached for his door as Gabe fumbled with his keys.

"Yeah, night there Sammy.  Sleep well." Gabe pushed into his apartment quickly closing the door behind himself.  Sam stood, door open, looking back at the closed door across the hall. He could just walk over there and tell Gabe he'd like to grab dinner some time, or just a drink.  It was just a few steps. He could do this. He shook his head in frustration and closed his door. 

Gabe turned to look through the peephole at the closed door across the hall.  He could just go check on him. Just a quick knock and ask if he wanted a nightcap...

"Oh yeah, good one.  He'd go for that." Gabe scolded himself.  He didn't even know for sure the guy was gay.  Gabe's phone buzzed in his pocket, he took one last look through the peephole and headed for the couch.  He checked his messages and found one from Jo.

 

Jo: Did you close the deal?

Gabriel: You know that's not how I work.  Besides, I don't know which team he's batting for!

Jo: Gabe.  He's 100% on your team. He was checking you out the whole time I talked to him.  

Gabriel: Oh come on, Jo.

Jo: I can read this kind of thing a mile away.  He's into you. 

Gabriel: Night Jo.

 

He sighed and stared at her message for a moment.  Sam had been checking him out. Is it possible? Apart from the off chance that he might be gay, that gorgeous man might actually be interested in HIM?  Really? Come on. He stood with a groan and scratched through his hair. Maybe he just needed a good night's sleep. For now, he was too tired to process this.  Flipping off lights as he went, he headed for the bedroom. His bed was still a mess from the night before, pillows strewn around the king size bed he didn't need.  Reaching behind his head he pulled his t-shirt off and let it fall to the floor while he toed off his shoes and unbuckled his belt. He didn't bother to pull it through the loops, unzip or unbutton, he pushed them off of his ankles and pulled off his socks.  The soft brush of his fingers against the waistband of his black boxer briefs drew a shiver across his skin, awakening a beast he'd rather let sleep. 

With a frustrated grumble, he peeled off what confined him and crawled into bed.  Flipping off the bedside table lamp, he let his gentle fingers tease across his chest.  Avoiding the thought of Sam touching him this way was impossible. His fingers did the work, but it was Sam's fingers he was feeling, stroking him, teasing him, pulling at him. It took all of a minute for his cock to be at full attention. He barely touched it, enjoying the throb and imagining the soft breath of a shy stranger washing over it.  Spitting into his palm, he began to stroke up and down the shaft, his hips jerking slightly at the sensation. Sliding his fingers into his own hair, he imagined the feel of Sam's darker strands in his hand while his lips and tongue toyed with and and teased his sensitive tip. The first few beads leaked from the cleft of his swollen member and only intensified the fantasy in his head.  Grabbing a tight hold on the sheet below him, his hips jerked up insistently as he wordlessly begged his fantasy for release. Just a few more strokes and he'd be there, his moans slowly taking shape.

"Sam...god, SAM..." With a final thrust of his hips, his seed spilled onto his hand and chest, a rude reminder that this was just a fantasy.  He panted as he tried to catch his breath, kicking himself for getting attached to this person he barely knows so damn quickly. This wouldn't end well.  

A loud banging on the door drug him out of his exhausted state, a second knock jerked him fully awake.  Who the hell...

"Gabe! Are you in there?" 


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel jumped out of bed, jerking on his boxers as he made his way toward the banging coming from the front door. "Coming! I'm coming!" Fighting down the thumping in his heart, he threw the dead bolt and flung open the door before he considered his state of undress. He stood in the open doorway barely covered face to face with a slightly rumpled Sam Winchester. Hands shoved in his pockets, he'd lost his flannel shirt in favor of a soft t shirt and worn jeans. Gabe approved.

Sam's green-blue eyes betrayed him as they roved over Gabriel's half naked form. "Everything ok, Sam? I should have grabbed a shirt but I was afraid it was an emergency." Sam's jaw opened but he just couldn't get the words out. A nervous smile spread across Gabe's bearded face as he crossed his arms over his chest and motioned Sam inside with a jerk of his head.

"Come on in, I'll just go put some clothes on like a civilized human. Have a seat anywhere you like." Sam closed the door behind him as Gabe quickly made his way to the bedroom. He found himself thinking just a little too much about what to put on, fInally deciding on navy blue pajama pants and a white v-neck undershirt that was probably just a shade too small, he made his way to the couch as Sam perched uncomfortably on a chair.

"I'm really sorry to bother you so late, I just wondered if I could ask you something. It's personal so if it's not ok, I'll understand, I mean you barely know me and..." Sam scrubbed through his hair with nervous fingers and shifted in his seat as he tried to find the right words. Gabriel decided this time he'd let him squirm. Leaning back against leather couch cushions, Gabe folded his arms across his chest and cast a knowing smile in Sam's direction. He knew exactly what he wanted to ask, he was surprised he hadn't asked it earlier.

"Ask Sam. I don't bite....unless you're into that sort of thing." The grin on Gabriel's face twisted Sam's gut into knots. Biting into his lip he willed himself to just say it.

" _Areyougay_?" The words rushed out at warp speed immediately evaporating into the space between them and dragging a laugh from Gabe.  The smaller man rubbed wearily over his face with his palms. His tongue flicked out over his lips as he prepared himself for what could soon be a large man stampeding out the door.

"Yes, Sam.  100% homosexual. Totally and completely into dudes. Man-o eh man-o...er, I don't think that's what that means. Anyway, yes."  Gabe was prepared for him to run but his reaction was quite the opposite.  Sam's tall frame seemed to freeze, and then relaxed completely into the recliner with a sigh. "Why do you ask?  Honestly, I thought Jo made my orientation pretty clear with that smart ass remark at the bar."

Avoiding Gabe's intense gaze, Sam's eyes caught on the watercolor painting perched atop the mantle. Seeing it there restarted a warm pooling in his chest, one he had ignored in the car, and before when Gabe greeted him at the Roadhouse.  He knew that feeling and it scared him.

"Sam? You ok?  You're worrying me. I really don't want to have to call Dean and tell him you're off your rocker." Gabe smirked trying to lighten the mood as his neighbor struggled.  Sam leaned forward in the chair like he was planning to get up but stayed rooted as he decided whether or not he really was ok.

"Yeah.  Yeah, I'm ok.  I, uh...I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone and I'm not sure how to say it." His brow creased as if pained and he looked intently at the floor.  He wanted to look back at Gabriel, but he was terrified of what he might see there, of the way Gabe's smile made him feel and how his eyes undid the bindings of his soul.

"I'm a bartender Sam, I'm like a steel trap.  I can listen for hours and I won't tell a soul.  Lay it on me." He leaned forward, elbows to knees and willed Sam to look at him. Sam's eyes drew up slowly to meet his as he weighed his words.  They felt like iron on his tongue, he just wanted to spit the taste of it out.  The breath he didn't realize he'd been holding escaped his lips as his eyes scrunched shut.

"I think I'm gay." The desert that used to be his mouth felt like it was choking him and his pounding heart was thundering in his ears.  If the floor could have opened up and swallowed him he might have been eternally grateful.  Gabe's golden-green eyes softened as he moved to sit in front of Sam on the coffee table. He took the other man's large hands in his own and sighed. 

"Sam, you _think_ you're gay? What does that mean?  If you want to talk this out, I'm here. Let's do it."  Gabe's smile turned to embarrassment when Sam's eyes grew wide in shock. "NO! Let's talk!  Not....no!  I wouldn't proposition you like that.  Talk.  Let's talk. Christ." Gabriel sighed and Sam's shock turned to a chuckle.  That honest, sweet laugh was like a balm.  Gabe had forgotten for just a moment how lonely he was and now all he wanted was to make this giant laugh. "OK, let's try this again.  What do you mean you _think_ you're gay?  What makes you think that?"

"I mean, I'm not attracted to women. I never have been.  Dean's been trying to set me up for years and I'm just not interested."  Sam shrugged sadly like he was broken.  Gabe's brow wrinkled as he tried to navigate this with a man who had been a total stranger just a few hours ago.

"Ok, but are you attracted to men?" He didn't want to push, this had to be something Sam was sure of but he had to admit that he was desperately hoping this handsome man in front of him was batting for his team.

Sam's answer came out in a whisper. "I think I am. Yes." He nibbled at his lip and looked anywhere but at Gabriel.  His soft tone became earnest, "I've never acted on anything, i just know how I feel.  I want to. Believe me, Gabe, there are times when..." His eyes caught Gabriel's and the air between them grew heavy and warm. "I want to."  Gabe's eyes drifted to Sam's parted lips.  They looked so soft.  He wondered what they'd taste like, and what noises Sam would make if he nibbled on them.  Sam's calloused fingers pushed Gabe's blonde hair from his face and traced, whisper soft, over the very edge of his ear.  The soft groan that rumbled from Gabe's lips gave Sam the confidence he needed to drag a tentative fingertip down his neck and onto his collarbone. He licked his lips as he watched Gabe's chest flush and expand over a stuttered moan.  

"Sammy...it's been a long time since someone has...I..." Gabe trembled as Sam's palm flattened out against his chest, his hazel eyes drifting up to lock with the ocean of colors in Sam's.  Gabe couldn't take any more. His fingers slipped into the perfect hair he'd been dying to touch all day, slid behind his neck and pulled.  Sam all too willingly went to his knees, head tilted back as Gabe softly brushed his own lips against the pair he'd been fantasizing about just an hour ago. it took every ounce of his restraint to pause and ask for permission. "Can I kiss you? Please say yes." The beat of his heart was so loud that he almost didn't hear the whispered 'yes' in reply.

Gabe's free hand slid behind the other side of Sam's neck, holding his head like a precious gift, before he allowed the tip of his tongue to drift across Sam's bottom lip.  Sam opened to him and hungrily took what he was given.  Gabriel fought to control himself as he pulled and nibbled at the bottom lip before attending to the top.  His tongue begged entrance and was admitted eagerly.  Sam's arms circled around his waist, his hands sliding up under the white t shirt and onto warm skin.  Their chests pressed together, Gabe could feel his cock thickening, pressing insistently against Sam.  Sam begged with a whimper that curled Gabe's toes and slicked his swollen tip.

"Sam..."  Gabe groaned his name across his cheek, nibbling along his scruffed jawline. Sam was on another planet, deep into the feeling of those lips on his face, those hands in his hair.  Wordlessly pleading for more but Gabe needed to be sure he wasn't jetting into a no-fly zone.

"Sam.  Wait. Look at me." Gabe's words were more stern than he intended.  Years of playing with a Sub had molded his bedroom behaviors and he wasn't quite in control of himself.  Sam's eyes grew wide, blown out with lust, as his body screamed it's need.  "I don't want to push you farther than you want to go.  Are you sure you want to do this.  God knows I want to but this is about you.  I don't want you to hate me in the morning."  Gabe waited with patience he didn't know he had as Sam fought for control of himself. For just a split second he was sorry he asked because dear god, he wanted to sample everything this man's body had to offer but the nod of Sam's head as his fingers dug at his back told him everything he needed to know.

"Please, I'm ready." Sam's words washed over Gabriel like a river of hot need.  Begging was a weakness for him and the fact that he'd been starving for this man all day wasn't helping.  His bare feet dug into the carpet as he stood, his erection barely contained and just a scant inch from Sam's lips.  Large hands slid down Gabe's back and onto his pajama covered ass when he stood. Sam's breath caught in his throat, fear alone kept him from nuzzling against the thick cock desperately trying to escape in front of him.  Confident fingers tightened in Sam's hair, instinctively.

"Jesus christ Sam, you are _gorgeous_.  Stand up, if we're going to do this, I want to do it the right way." Sam stood quickly and followed Gabe to the bedroom.  He took in the way the smaller man's hips moved as he walked, the way his back rippled and the clench of his cheeks.  He drank in the sight, imagining what his bare body would look like. "Ok beautiful, I'm going to undress you.  If you want me to stop all you have to do is put a hand up.  That hand goes up and I'll stop immediately.  That way, I can make you feel insanely good without stopping every couple minutes to ask.  I want to make your body beg for more, desire is good.  Panic is not.  Ok?" Gabe's confident smile and soft touch on Sam's waist turned his insides to molten lava.  His want burned hot. He didn't care what Gabe did as long as it was with him.

Sam nodded as Gabe stroked up and down his waist line.  "I want this.  I want you." Sam bit his lip to stop the flow of words before he said something he wasn't ready to say. Gabe's hazel eyes flashed as his fingers slid up either side of Sam's muscled torso, dragging his shirt up with them.  Stepping closer, his lips followed up his chest as it was exposed, goosebumps appearing in their wake.  His greedy tongue laved over Sam's tight nipples, first one then the other.  Strangled whimpers escaped from deep in his smooth chest which only echoed the need in Gabe's gut to please and be pleased.  Dropping the shirt to the ground he nibbled at Sam's collarbone as his fingers quickly released his belt and dropped his jeans to the floor.  The black bikini briefs that covered what remained of his chiseled body looked too good to remove.

Gabe stepped back and just gazed at Sam.  The intense look on his face was too much for Sam to handle.  He looked away and brushed his hair from his face with both hands as his abdomen rippled.  He had no fucking clue how sexy he was and desire was eating Gabriel up.  "Dammit Sam. I had no idea. I mean, you look amazing in a pair of jeans but christ on a cracker, I can't wait to get my mouth on you."  Sam bit his lip as his cock visibly jumped in his briefs.  Gabe circled him like prey, licking his lips and softly touching Sam's skin in varying places, keeping him guessing where he'd be touched next. "Oh yes Sam, I'm going to put my mouth on you.  My lips. My tongue. My teeth if that's your thing."

Another jump from below the waistband of his briefs told Gabriel all he needed to know. "You like that, don't you?  You want my teeth on you? Gently nibbling, dragging against your skin?" Sam whimpered. Gabe flattened his chest against Sam's back, sliding one palm around onto his chest and another down onto his confined cock. Sam's hips bucked gently as he moaned louder than he intended.  He was losing control, exactly what Gabe wanted. Slotting his own cock between Sam's tensed cheeks, he began to rock his hips slowly, savoring the tension as he ground into him.  Sam was torn between pressing against Gabe's palm or pushing back against Gabe's cock.  It was the sweetest of tortures. Gabe swore under his breath as his sack hitched up, that sweet tension would break if he wasn't careful. He slid his fingers under Sam's briefs and around his tortured cock, stroking gently as Sam leaned against his chest and let his head fall back on his shoulder.

"Feels good, doesn't it? Do you want more?  Tell me what you want Sam.  Tell me and I'll give it to you." The words brushed across Sam's ear and started a throbbing the likes of which he'd never imagined.  He began to thrust up into Gabe's hand as his fingers found their way into the other man's blond hair, wordlessly begging for release.  Gabe chuckled and released his cock.  "No baby, tell me.  Tell me what you want.  What's your fantasy?" Sam whimpered his pain as Gabe bit teasingly into his neck.

"Fuck."  He thrust again, against nothing. "I want to feel your cock against mine.  Make me cum...please.  God, please." The shiver that went up Sam's spine was all the affirmation Gabe needed.  

"Get on the bed Sam.  Lay on your back and let me see that rod at full attention."  Sam lay on the bed, his cock red and throbbing against the soft hair at its base, want oozing on the trail just below his belly button.

Gabe quickly stripped his own clothes away, his desire evident and begging.  Leaping onto the bed, he straddled Sam's long legs and came to rest at the tops of his thighs.  His fingers stroked softly down the underside of the other man's thickness and onto his warm sack, teasing ever so slightly and smiling at Sam's wrecked whines.  Wrapping around Sam's length, he brought it to rest against his own before his hand encircled them both. Sam's head rocked back as he choked out a groan.  Gabriel stilled, feeling their heartbeats in their collective warmth. "Tell me you want it Sam.  God, I wanna hear you say it." Sam bit his lip to keep from thrusting up against Gabe's cock. "Tell me..."

"Fuck, Gabe, stroke me.  Please...."  Sam's whole body rolled with the effort as Gabe began to move slowly.  The thumb of his other hand slid across the top of both of them mixing their slickness as their moans swirled around them.  Sam couldn't hold it back any longer, he bucked up against Gabe, lifting Gabe's body in the process.  To need that badly was fucking hot and Gabe was overcome with the need to taste him.  The thrusts continued even after he'd let their cocks go, Sam was so hungry for release.  Gabe snaked down between Sam's legs and pushed his knees wide, as Sam's eyes flung open in hope as well as fear.

"I'm not going to penetrate you, baby.  Not this time. I want to bathe you with my heat.  I want to feel you in my mouth, on my tongue, in my throat." His words cut off as his tongue swept, wet and warm up the underside of Sam's thickness. The noises Sam made were making Gabe's cock weep.  His hips thrust against the bed as his mouth wrapped around all of Sam's length.  He hadn't cum from humping against a bed since he was a teenager but he was getting damn close. Sam's tentative thrusts only made Gabe hungrier.  His fingers dug into the inside of Sam's thighs as he swallowed him down, tongue slipping left to right all along his length.  Sam shuddered mightily as his body begged for release.  Fingers tucking into Gabe's hair tightly he thrust one last time before he spilled into the other man's throat.  Gabe hummed his satisfaction as Sam moaned out his name.  Soft licks cleaned up the mess as Sam panted and wiped at his brow.

"God, Gabe...." Sam's eyes were so soft, his face so open. Gabe wanted desperately to climb up beside him and wrap his arms around him but the twitch of his own throbbing cock wasn't going to let that happen.  He rolled onto his back, his cock standing at attention as a fresh bead of clear slick slid down it's length. "Damn, you're perfect."  Sam's words jerked his cock as his hips tensed in response.

"Sam, I want something from you and it might sound odd.  Are you open to it?" Sam nodded and lazily stroked a contented finger over Gabe's upturned palm. "I want you to touch me, anywhere you like, tease me, taste me, whatever you want, while I stroke myself. Feel however you feel, but watch me.  Are you ok with that?" Sam moved closer to his lover and whispered his agreement in his ear before running the tip of his tongue over the edge of his ear.  Gabe trembled as his fingers gripped his cock tight. That first stroke threatened to be his last, he was so insanely ready to blow his load.  Sam's touch was so soft, his fingers trailed delicately over the soft hairs on Gabe's chest and onto his abdomen, tracing along each rib, and around his belly button.  The voice in Gabe's head was screaming for Sam to touch his throbbing cock and Sam knew it but he wanted to enjoy the tease.  Stoking the fire had been part of what made Gabriel's touch so damn good.  

The backs of his fingers stroked along the inside of Gabe's thigh, wordlessly telling him to spread his legs wide and Gabe instinctively moved.  Sam explored the soft skin behind his sack with his fingertips as Gabe whimpered and begged, stroking ever faster as he chased his own release.  Emboldened by Gabe's approval, Sam knelt between Gabe's thighs and tongued along the inside of his hip as a strangled cry erupted from the man.  Gabe thrust up into his own hand threatening to spill.  Sam grinned wickedly up at him as those hazel eyes rolled in torment.

"Fuck, baby....So damn good..." Gabe's head lurched back as his body tensed and released his seed all over his hand and Sam's.  Before he thought too much about it Sam lowered his head and licked softly over Gabe's sensitive cock, Gabe thrusting into every touch, dragging his orgasm out.  Sam captured every bead and then licked over his own fingers, as he climbed up Gabe's body.  Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam's neck as soon as he was close enough and drew his lips to his own.  Something burned bright between them that neither wanted to name as their bodies finally began to relax.  Sam pulled away only to lay against Gabe's heaving chest, his long leg drawn across Gabe's hips.  They lay this way for some time as Gabe combed through Sam's hair reassuringly.  He hoped against everything he feared that Sam wouldn't come out of post orgasmic bliss ashamed of what he'd done.  A soft snore caused Gabe to smirk.  He should wake him and give him the choice to leave but couldn't make himself do it.  He was falling for this giant of a man and while it scared the hell out of him, he didn't want him to go.  Grabbing carefully at the rumpled comforter behind Sam's back, he covered them both and slept.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam's eyes slowly opened, despite his sleep heavy lids. The gentle snores of the man lying next to him had pulled him out of his contented sleep. He was so used to being alone that the noise, however soft, had roused him. His vision adjusted to the darkness as he lifted his head and gazed at Gabriel's sleeping form. A hand tucked up under the back of his head, the other outstretched to where Sam had just been laying. His bare chest wide open and so inviting, the soft sandy hairs in the very center curled over warm skin and suddenly Sam could only think of laying his head there to feel the other man's heart beat against his cheek.

The intimacy of the thought started a familiar pounding in his chest. What was he doing? He had just admitted for the first time that he was gay and then went right into Gabe's bed. He'd known this man for one day and he'd told him his deepest secret. What if Gabe told Dean...told _anyone_? Was he ready for that? What was Gabe going to expect from him?  Did he even know what he wanted?

The panic started to rise in Sam's chest. He could feel a cold sweat forming on his skin and the shakes starting deep in his gut. Slowly he made his way out of the bed and tiptoed out of the bedroom. The moonlight shown bright into the living room allowing him to find his clothes but in his haste to get out, he left his belt strewn across the coffee table. Closing the apartment door with a soft click, he quickly made his way through his own door.

Sam crawled into his bed, shaking with panic. His hair sticking to his sweaty neck as he repeated a familiar mantra to himself to try to calm his nerves. "You are ok, you are ok, you are ok."  Slowly his heart beat eased and the shaking began to subside. His eyes roamed over his clothes on the floor, stopping on a white undershirt too small to be his own.  He'd picked up Gabe's shirt by mistake. All he wanted was the warmth of the other man's skin, despite the fact that he'd just run from exactly that. Reaching out to grab at the white undershirt he'd just stolen, he curled it in his large hand and pressed it to his face. The scent wrapped around him like a blanket and jarred loose the tears that had been threatening to fall since he walked into his own place. Exhausted, and afraid, he slept.

* * *

Gabe lay awake in his bed, the sudden cold the first indication that Sam was gone, the apartment door closing was the second. Staring at the ceiling while his jaw worked in fear, self doubt began its ugly swirl through his head. It was happening again. The last time he fell for someone, they had been closeted and Gabe pushed too hard. His lover had panicked after they were together and fled, exactly the way Sam just did. The silence that followed drove Gabriel insane over the span of several months before he bumped into him at the local grocery store with his _girlfriend_. He had no intention of having his heart broken again. He needed to stop this now, that promise he'd made to himself 3 years ago still stood even if his damned hormones had taken over last night.  No dating men who were still in the closet.  He'd let Sam off the hook in the morning, no matter how much it hurt.  He wasn't going to be the secret late night rendezvous, he wanted the whole package even if it meant being alone.  He wasn't going to fall in love with someone who was ashamed to be with him or of who he was.

Rolling to his side he pulled the pillow that had been under Sam's neck close to him and curled around it while a lump formed in his throat.  Loneliness crept in like a cold snap and settled over his heart. He lay in the quiet, blinking in the darkness, until the sun coming up drew him out from under his covers.  He wasn't going to be able to sleep, that much was obvious.  He needed to find something to do to busy himself until later this evening.  Sam needed time to think and so did he.

* * *

Sam woke to full sun invading his room, it's heat beating down onto his bare back. He hadn't moved since he crashed, Gabe's fading scent still permeating his senses.   Rolling to a sitting position, he scrubbed his fingers through his hair and stared at the crumpled t-shirt in his other hand. He'd held to it so tightly that his joints felt stiff. It's presence screamed of the night they'd shared and of something he wasn't ready to admit. 

With a sigh he tucked the shirt under his pillow and made his way to the bathroom. A hot shower should help him relax while he figured out what to do. He stared at his reflection in the mirror for a moment before turning on the shower to start warming the water. His gaze lingered on his toothbrush for a beat too long as he debated whether he wanted to brush Gabe from his mouth. Shaking his head at his own angst, he brushed doubly well just to make a point...or to punish himself for being sentimental.  

His plan to relax was derailed almost the moment he stepped under the force of the water. The wet heat seeping onto his scalp brought back the feeling of Gabriel's fingers carding through his hair and the way he pulled when it was just right. Resting his forehead against the cool tile, Sam skipped the mesh poof this time and poured the shower gel into his open palm, running his hand all over his wet chest and arms. The slide of his fingers betraying his need to ignore those memories and instead stoking a fire borne of flashes from time spent beneath Gabe's tongue. God, that tongue. 

Try as he may, he couldn't avoid the heat curling in his core. Soapy fingers found their way down around his shaft, sliding slowly along it's length while his mind wandered over every moment of the previous night.  Soon he found himself thrusting into his closed fist but when climax threatened, his mind worked over time fight it. A combination of shame and fear was keeping him buried. He tried all the usual tricks to reach his release and nothing worked. Shaking with frustration and sadness, he finished up his shower and winced as his firmness faded. 

He had no motivation to unpack, but an incessant need to get his feelings out. Roughly toweling his hair, he dug around in the box labeled clothes just long enough to find a t-shirt and some briefs.  He threw on last night's jeans and his flip flops before grabbing his beanie off the couch to cover his wet head. His sketchbook and pencils were still in his bag from yesterday so he grabbed his keys from the counter as he slung the messenger bag over his head and headed out.  He needed a drink and a place to clear his mind. 

* * *

 Gabriel watched as Sam took off in a hurry out the front door of their building, thankfully the opposite direction of where he was seated in his car.  He'd just returned from a trip to the local farmer's market.  Something about fresh flowers always cheered him up but despite the beautiful blue hydrangeas in the seat next to him, he still felt empty and tense.  Climbing out of the car, he gathered his bags and made his way into the building.  He was just entering the elevator when he heard what he knew to be Sam's footfall coming back through the door.  His haste to slam the "door close" button almost caused him to drop the flowers.  Sam caught a glimpse of Gabe's sad eyes before the doors closed in his face.  Gabe's heart pounded in his chest on the third floor as Sam's broke on the first.  He practically ran from the elevator and into his apartment, the slam of his door reverberating down the stair well right into Sam's chest.

Sam took a steadying breath and walked back outside.  If he hadn't known before how Gabe was feeling he sure as hell did now. Whatever it was that he'd needed, he didn't remember now and apparently didn't need that badly.  Maybe Gabe just needed space and Sam could give him that while he sorted his head out.  His mind was so cluttered with questions, he couldn't begin to think.  

* * *

 Gabe dropped onto the couch in a heap, groceries and all.  He set the flowers on the coffee table and stared at Sam's belt lying across it where he'd tossed it the night before.  He could still see Sam perched on the chair across from him, uncertainty creasing his brow, lips begging to be kissed.  Begging.  He was so beautiful when he begged.

He curled in on himself, head to knees, in anguish.  Everything was wrong with this, he was already so far gone.  Always the one to jump in with both feet and always the one to drown.  He picked up the belt and ran a gentle finger tip along the worn leather.  If he needed a reason to go over there, he had one now but he wasn't sure he could face him.  He wasn't sure he had the self-control to withstand him if he pushed back or the backbone to leave with his pride intact if he was indifferent.

Draping the belt over the door knob he stood and stared at it for a moment, willing the memories to go away.  Maybe it wasn't that he wasn't ready to come out, maybe it was that Sam just didn't want him.  Acknowledging that hurt more than he cared to admit. Gathering up the bags from the market, he started putting together some kind of a lunch but his heart wasn't in it.  Suddenly eating sounded like a terrible idea.  Shoving things into cabinets haphazardly, he turned on the television for background noise but couldn't bring himself to watch anything. In frustration, he decided to go for a walk, if he headed the opposite direction that Sam had been going, he shouldn't bump into him anyway.  He tossed on a baseball cap and a jacket and took off for his favorite coffee shop.  An overpriced, over syruped, icy latte-chino-thingy obviously was what he needed.

* * *

Sam sat in an overstuffed chair sipping his Chai as he sketched out Gabe's likeness in shades of gray.  His body strewn across the bed, just the way he was when Sam awoke this morning.  It was as if the image was stuck in his head and this time, getting it onto paper wasn't helping.  If anything the longing was more intense and his ability to ignore it was waning.  His sketchbook was full of sketches of Gabe's smile, his eyes, and hair, his back, his ass, even his laugh. Obsession might have been putting it lightly. 

The door chimed when Gabe walked in to the only coffee shop in town.  Sam's ears picked up the familiar lilt of Gabe's voice as he ordered and panic settled in his gut.  He grabbed up his bag and broke for the door before Gabriel noticed.  Sam hurried back to the apartment oblivious to what he'd left behind, while Gabe grabbed his drink and headed for a seat.  His eyes scanned the nearly empty coffee shop and landed on a comfy looking overstuffed chair.  When he went to sit down, he noticed a sketchbook and peeked inside for a name. There wasn't one but the artwork felt familiar.  He knew he shouldn't but curiosity got the better of him.  Curling up in the chair, he began to flip through the pages.  A smile crept across his face as he examined the sketches.  An elderly woman in a park watching the birds.  A sketch of what was probably one of those same birds up close, must have been a study.  Waves crashing along the shoreline here in town.

Flipping through a bit further he landed on a sketch that made his heart stop. He stared in disbelief.  His face.  The likeness was uncanny, eyes crinkled with laughter, head thrown back and free.  He flipped again and was greeted by pieces of himself, eyes, a soft smile, his backside for Christ sake.  This had to be Sam's, but the last page turned confirmed it.  His eyes pooled with tears as he looked down at the grey scale sketch of his body, lost in slumber.  Sam's own form, loosely sketched along side but unfinished.  With a swipe to his eyes, he slammed the book shut and carried it with him to the car.  It was time to pay Sam a visit.                                               


	5. Chapter 5

Sam tossed his cell phone across the couch. The manager at the coffee shop hadn't been able to find his sketchbook so who knows where he'd dropped it along the way home. When he back tracked, he didn't see it so maybe someone had picked it up. That wasn't exactly a comforting thought. His name wasn't in it anywhere, he didn't sign his art and even if he did his signature was illegible. He wasn't sure if he wanted someone to know it was his anyway given the drawings of Gabe's naked form on the last few pages.

"Christ. I hope someone doesn't give it to HIM." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, there was a tentative knock on the door. He knew that knock wasn't Dean, there wasn't a bellow accompanying it. That only really left one other option. Carding his fingers through his wind tangled mop, he yelled, "coming!" to grab a moment to center himself. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. As soon as his eyes met Gabriels, his stomach rolled and a nervous smile slid onto his face.

Gabe immediately jerked his eyes away, almost defensively. The nervous dread in Sam's gut began to grow in earnest. "Hey Sam. I, uh, I almost sat on your sketchbook down at Arnie's. The coffee shop on 5th? I should have said something to the manager, maybe, but I figured you'd probably be wrecked about losing it so I just brought it by right away."  He held it out to Sam, a sad expression pulling at his face. His jaw worked with the words he wanted to say but couldn't and Sam was equally tongue-tied.

"Thank you. What are the chances...I mean, I'm so glad you found it." Sam took the book and hugged it to his chest as he leaned into the door frame. His brain was screaming for him to invite Gabe in but his mouth wouldn't cooperate. Gabriel took a couple steps back, and nodded more to himself than to anyone else, before turning toward his door.

"Later. Sam." Gabe was through the door before Sam could speak.

Stroking the back of his sketchbook with his thumb, he backed through his doorway and closed the door, disappointment pooling in his chest.

Gabriel collapsed onto the couch with a frustrated groan. That was his opportunity and he shit-canned it. He rubbed is hands over his face before crossing his arms across his chest. A battle waged in his head over heading back across the hall. He began to pace as he weighed the possibilities. Sam hadn't exactly invited him in but he could have been waiting for him to make the first move. And that smile on his face, what the hell was that?! Was he taunting him? How did he barely look at the guy but have his image in that doorway practically seared into his memory? He couldn't go down this road again. No more closets. And if that's what he wanted, the fact that Sam wasn't wanting to talk about it helped, right? It's not like he had to break the guy's heart if he didn't already care. This was a win-win, wasn't it?

A knock sounded on his door. Gabriel stopped dead in his tracks, wondering if he'd imagined it, and waited. A second knock came, followed by Sam's muffled voice. "Gabe, please open the door. Please." Gabriel shook his head in defeat. Maybe it wasn't going to be that easy. He started to cross the room to open the door just as Sam called out again. "Come on Gabriel, I know you're in there.."

Pulling open the door, he couldn't help the smirk that crossed his lips. "'Gabriel' huh? You rolled out the full name, I must be in big trouble." Sam laughed nervously and scrubbed at the back of his neck. Gabe tried not to watch the muscles work in his bicep.

"Can I come in? I think we need to talk and I'm pretty sure I uh...left my belt over here." Gabriel couldn't stop his eyes from traveling down Sam's torso to the jeans that were slung impossibly low across his hips. He rubbed at his forehead both to try to hide where his eyes had gone and to try to erase the thoughts that were flooding his mind.

"Yeah, yeah, come in. We probably should talk." Gabe backed up and held the door as Sam made his way to the same chair he'd sat in the night before. The same anxious expression on the same maddeningly handsome face. This was going to be hard and not in the way he wanted.

"I guess you're wondering why I left without saying goodbye." Sam's worried expression searched the other's unreadable one as he spoke but he got nothing for his effort.

"Nah, it's happened before. Especially with guys who aren't ready to embrace who they are. You wake up in a man's arms and suddenly you're not so ready to come out. I get it. It sucks but I'm familiar with it. Look, Sam..." The words were rushing from Gabe's mouth, his heart's effort to shore things up before Sam could crash through that wall again, but Sam cut him off.

"No, I mean...yes, partly. Any question I had about whether or not I was gay ended last night with you. I'm certain about that. Being with you felt right in so many ways." His cheeks flushed with the admission but Gabe's gaze didn't give him an inch to work with. "I'll admit, it scared the hell out of me but I'm ready to face it. Am I ready to yell it from the rooftops? That I don't know." Sam chewed his lip nervously while he waited for a response.

"Look Sam, the last time I was someone's secret I almost didn't survive it. I won't do that again. I need to be with someone who isn't ashamed to be seen walking hand in hand with another man, or will take me home to meet the family." Gabriel laughed at how silly it felt to ask for something so domestic. The prickle of tears surprised him though so he spun away from Sam's intense gaze to rub at his face. He cleared his throat before beginning again. "All I'm saying is, when you're ready to be open to who you are, I might be here. I won't wait, I can't do that to myself, but I don't do what we did last night with just anyone and I meant what I said when I told you it'd been a long time. I just don't want to get burned again."  Sam had moved to stand behind him while he spoke, so when the soft voice sounded behind Gabe a shiver ran up his spine.

"Gabriel." Sam's large palms hovered for just a moment over Gabe's shoulders before Gabriel moved a safe distance away. "No, Sam, I'm not moving on this. You're either all in, or not at all. I can't fault you or push you to do anything you aren't ready to but those are my rules. I have to protect myself."

Sam sighed and cursed under his breath. Turning toward the door, he grabbed his belt off of the door knob where it'd been since this morning.

"How did you know it was my sketchbook?" The words were a whisper, a loaded question and Gabriel knew where he was going with it.

"There were pictures of me in the back. It only could have been you." Gabe's voice faltered as his heart clenched, the vision of those drawings choking him with loss.

"I've never drawn pictures of anyone I didn't care about, and never the way I draw you. Never." Sam closed the door behind him as Gabriel leaned his forehead against the wall. The pain in his chest took his breath away. How the hell did he get to him so quickly?

* * *

 

Sam slammed the door behind him tossing his belt onto the couch.  He's finally sure of what he wants and he was terrified to do anything about it.  There was only one thing to do and that meant letting someone else in.  He picked up his phone and dialed the only number he knew from memory.  Dean's voice rumbled from the other end of the line.

"Sammy you've only been away one full day.  Already you're buggin' me?" He chuckled at his own joke but sobered pretty quickly when Sam hesitated to respond.  "Sam?  What's up, buddy?"

"Hey, uh, I probably shouldn't have called.  It's my gut reaction to talk to you when I'm...you know, working things out.  But I..." Dean cut him off before he could dismiss the call.

"Sam.  I'm just yanking your chain, you know you can talk to me.  Just spill it. I'm listening." Dean waited, worry creasing his brow.

"You know what you said to me when you left." Sam's voice was small. Nerves crackling with every word.

"Yeah, Sam, why?" Dean's heart began to pound.  Suddenly he had a pretty good idea what this call was about.

"You were right."  Sam's breathing hitched up with the anxiousness of the moment.  A cold sweat broke again, a panic attack well on it's way.  Dean picked up on the broken breathing coming across the line and sprang into action.  

"Sam, are you having a panic attack?" He grabbed at his jacket and keys as he headed for the door. "Don't even answer that Sam, I'm on my way."  The line went dead as Sam moved to the bathroom, it was inevitable that he was going to get sick.  If he took his medicine now, he'd just lose it along with his lunch.  He tied his hair up into a mini man bun and was thankful that the bathroom was clean as he prepared to pray to the porcelain god.

Dean let himself in when he finally got there 15 minutes later.  It's amazing how fast Baby can go when he's in a hurry.  "SAM!" He yelled as he tossed his keys and jacket aside.  The door slammed behind him as he made his way toward Sam's small voice coming from the bedroom.  Curled into the fetal position on the bed was this hulk of a man.  He was sweaty, but the attack was definitely waning.  Dean made for the bathroom to grab a wet washrag but Sam hadn't unpacked anything yet.  After rooting around in a box labeled "Towels" he wet the hand towel with cool water and wrung it out until just damp before making his way to the bedside to wipe off Sam's face and the back of his neck.

"Sammy what the hell?  All this over that conversation we had?  Are you trying to tell me you're gay?" Dean let the words fall and just waited.  He hadn't intended to just throw it out there like that but seeing Sam in this state always freaked him out.

"Yes."  The voice was small but clear.  Sam couldn't look at his brother, fear tightened his throat and froze his limbs.

"Oh Sam.  I know.  Are you kidding me?  I've known for ages."  Dean dropped onto the bed with a sigh. "Did you really think I would be surprised?"

Dean's reaction instantly soothed Sam's anxious mind.  His body began to relax, his breathing began to slow, and the tight grip he had on Gabe's shirt loosened....slightly.

"How did you know?  I never told a soul!" Sam's furrowed brow drug a chuckle out of Dean.  The ridiculousness of this was just too much.

"Sammy, the hottest girl in the damn school asked you to prom and you said no.  At Kyle Murphy's party last year, Becca followed you around like a lost puppy and you only had eyes for Kyle.  Don't think I didn't notice, or that Becca didn't for that matter.  You've been an artist for as long as I've known you and you've never drawn one woman, and I can tell you from experience they're a much better looking species."  Dean's look grew wistful as his mind roved over the many lovely ladies he'd appreciated over the years.  Sam cleared his throat. 

"All this time I've been wondering if I was gay and you're telling me it was obvious."  Sam glared and Dean decided it was time to back off.

"Sammy look, it doesn't matter to anyone but you what your preference is.  I like women.  I also like men.  Who cares?"

Sam's eyes grew wide as his jaw dropped in shock.  "YOU'RE BI?? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

Dean smirked as he shrugged.  "Yep.  I have been for years. I wasn't hiding it really, Cas just isn't very open about his sexuality and I didn't feel comfortable "outting" him but I talked to him on the way over here and he was fine with me telling you, under the circumstances."

Sam shook his head.  "I can't believe it.  I had no idea." 

"Sam, we're getting off track.  What happened?  Why did you feel like you had to tell me like this?" Dean frowned with worry when Sam's face suddenly drooped with sadness.

"I met someone.  Someone really special but he doesn't want to be with someone who isn't "out".  I suppose I understand, no one wants to be a dirty secret, but I'm really torn.  You know how hard it can be to be out, especially in a small town."  Sam sat up and fiddled with the t-shirt in his hands.

"How long has this been going on, Sam?  You never mentioned anyone and you sure as hell haven't gone out anywhere." Dean snickered at his own joke.  Sam just glared which shut his brother up quickly.

"It's Gabe, Dean.  We spent some time together after you left yesterday and everything kind of happened really quickly and last night we..." Sam cut off with a nod, willing Dean to just take the hint.

"You fucked! Damn Sam, when you jump in you go in with both feet!" The proud grin that spread across Dean's face was stupidly funny under the circumstances and Sam slapped his shoulder almost sending him reeling to the floor. "OW!  Ok, ok, sorry.  Too soon, I understand."

"We didn't 'fuck', Dean.  Jesus.  It's not like that.  I don't know how to describe it.  All I know is I'm gone.  I can't draw anything but Gabe.  I can't think about anything but Gabe.  I don't want to touch anyone but Gabe.  It's making me insane and it's only been a day."  Sam hung his head in anguish as Dean rolled his green eyes to heaven.

"So, I don't get it.  What is the problem, Sam, take the man OUT to dinner.  Walk around OUTside with your gigantic arm around his shoulders.  Get OUT of the fucking closet Sam.  If you want that man, do what you gotta do."  Dean's hands slapped down onto his thighs for emphasis. His confusion evident.

"Dean, I start a job working with a bunch of uber masculine police officers tomorrow morning.  They're going to eat me alive." He flung himself back onto the bed like an angst ridden teenager.  Dean grew frustrated and couldn't help but jab him in the gut with a finger.

"Who gives a damn, Sam!  You can't live your life in the shadow of someone elses expectations.  If this is what you want, you go for it.  It's not like you're going to walk in there tomorrow with a sign tied around your neck that says, 'I LOVE COCK'"  Dean's shit eatin' grin punctuated the poke at Sam's distress and just like he knew it would, spurred Sam into action.

"Dammit Dean, fine.  You're right.  I hate it, but you're right. Now get out, I need to come up with a plan and you're distracting me."  Sam shoo'd at his brother as he stood, practically pushing him out of the bedroom and down the hall.

Dean threw his hands in the air as he moved. "Alright, alright, I'm going.  Maybe I can talk Cas into a double date...this could get interesting."

"ALRIGHT Dean.  Thanks SO MUCH for your help." Sam's feigned annoyance wasn't lost on his brother.  He turned to smile at him as he opened the apartment door.

"Later Sammy.  I'm proud of you, little brother.  Let me know how it goes." And with that he was gone, and Sam was left to figure out what to do next. 


	6. Chapter 6

When Gabriel arrived at the Roadhouse to start his shift, he struggled to get out of the car and set foot to pavement. His head was clouded with replays of the sound of Sam's voice as he'd left the apartment this afternoon. The soft way he'd said his name just before Gabe shut him down. Just the thought that sweet, gorgeous man was right across the hall all day every day was going to make him nuts or break him in two, he wasn't sure which.

He watched as the clock changed from 6:59 pm to 7:00 pm before forcing himself to be a responsible adult. When he shoved his way through the front door, Jo was smirking at him as she leaned into the bar right next to a huge arrangement of blue and purple hydrangeas. Gabe didn't miss a beat, he strode right past her into his spot behind the bar, tying his apron on as he chuckled. "Who's heart did you break this time, Jo? It looks like someone's real sorry."

"Oh no, Gabe, these are for you. A certain tall drink of water dropped them off just a bit ago. I think he was a little disappointed you weren't here yet. You got something you wanna share? Hmmmm?" Red laquered nails slid an envelop across the bar in front of him. He snatched it up quickly and tucked it into his apron pocket. Whatever was in there was going to fuck with his head and he couldn't have that. Not right now. It would have to wait until his shift was over. He pasted a playful smirk onto his face, though he didn't feel it at all.

"Nah, nothing to tell. Probably just wanted to say thank you for the help moving in yesterday. He's a good kid." Gabriel snatched up the flowers and tucked them away in the manager's office in the back. He needed to get his mind OFF Sam, not be wondering how the hell he knew he loved hydrangeas. Christ, he was never going to be able to look at them again.

"Whatever you say. You always were tight lipped about your rendezvous." She spun on her heel and headed out toward the tables as he shook his head.

"WHAT rendezvous? I'm pretty sure that's your territory, missy." She waived him off as he began wiping down the bar and prepping for their Sunday regulars. Saturday nights were a rush where Sunday's were full of the same faces each week. Mostly the lonely ones with no where else to be. Seemed like he was in the right place.

* * *

 

Sam had unpacked most of the apartment in about 2 hours time.  A testament to how little he had to unpack and how anxious he was.  He couldn't stop worrying that the flowers were too much.  Jo's being there threw him off and the look on her face was unsettling.  She looked like the cat that got the cream.  When she figured out that the flowers were for Gabe, she didn't hide her disappointment but was quick to offer to pass them along.  He almost didn't leave the note for fear that she'd be nosing through it but it was sealed.  Surely she wouldn't open it.  

He shook out his clothes for work the next day, and readied his supplies.  He wasn't an actual officer so he didn't have to wear a uniform but business casual was the dress code so he had to wear khaki's and a button up, but no tie at least.  Everything was ready, now he just had to try to relax and eventually get some sleep.  Right.  Sure.

Staring blankly into the refrigerator, he finally decided on a beer and made his way to the couch.  Maybe some TV would help.  Something soothing.  The Discovery Channel...some calming voice talking about dolphins or something.  Anything.  He grabbed the remote and started flipping through the channels, stopping immediately when his eyes landed on a muscled bare ass.  It only took him a second to react and a handful of seconds to be at full attention.  Apparently he had a free trial of the premium channels and if his dick had anything to say about it, he was strongly considering keeping this one.  The failed attempt this morning in the shower along with this visual tease was certainly not helping things. 

Leaning back onto the arm of the couch, he stretched out the length of his long body.  He rubbed down along his shaft with an open palm through the soft knit of his pajama pants.  Eyes glued to the tv as this brawn of a man licked his way down his much smaller lover's chest.  Sam's thighs ached with the memory of Gabe's hands forcing them open.  Sam groaned.  Gabe.  His cock jerked at the vision of his hazel eyes staring up at him from between his legs.  A playful smirk on his lips before his tongue bathed every inch of his hard length.

Sam slid the waist band of his pants just low enough to tighten around his hips but allow his cock and balls to be free.  He'd cum this way many times before. He liked the restraint of the elastic around his thighs.  He liked the way Gabe told him what he needed.  The way his voice changed into that dominant register.  "Fuck." He growled it low.  A guttural reaction to a base desire.  His hands traveled up as his hips rolled of their own volition, rucking his shirt in the process.  The cool air on his chest brought on goose pimples, just like it had the night before.

Everything pointed back to that night and it was making Sam that much hotter.  His cock was so hard that it bounced gently against his torso, precum dribbling onto the muscled skin.  Fingers avoiding his throbbing, he drug them softly up and down his thighs, tickling that sensitive skin right in the crook of the hip joint.  Right where Gabriel's warm tongue had lapped at his skin.  He imagined sliding his fingers into the man's blonde hair before guiding his wet mouth onto his length.  That was more than he could take.  Wrecked by a tiny touch-less preorgasmic tremor, Sam wrapped his fingers around himself and began to stroke slowly.  He wanted to drag this out for all it was worth.  He knew he was pent up, but if ever there was a way to forget the anxiety of the day, this was it.

The long fingers of his free hand fisted into the front of his own shirt, jaws working with the restraint as he fought to keep from jack-hammering into his own fist. Grunting with each thrust, the sweat began to dot his skin, he slowly began to push up with each stroke.  A strangled cry erupted from his chest when he finally allowed himself to cut loose and stroke with everything he had. Thighs rippled with the effort as his abdomen constricted and he cried out for the man who had claimed his body and soul.  His release coated his fingers and lay in stripes across his bare torso.  Chest heaving as he fought for control, Gabriel's name whimpering from his lips.

* * *

 

Gabriel turned the lock on the heavy wooden door of the Roadhouse.  It had been a slow night which didn't do much for helping him forget the envelope burning a hole in his pocket.  He made his way to the car, arms overloaded with flowers and food for a late dinner, thanks to Jo.  The flowers were so full and heavy he had to seatbelt them into the passenger seat. He couldn't help but smile at the effort.  He could have just left them on his doorstep, why take them to the Roadhouse?

The realization of what this meant hit him like a freight train.  Public.  The Roadhouse was public.  How could he have been so stupid?  Slamming the passenger door, he leaned up against the car and fished for the envelope in the apron he was still wearing.  When he took a moment to look at it, his heart ached with the sentiment.  There were tiny drawings all over the envelope.  A cup of coffee, a belt, a t-shirt, what looked like a plate of spaghetti, a moving truck, along with his name.  His thumb stroked over the pen marks as he mulled over the energy that must have gone into this gesture.  Sam couldn't possibly know how much it meant. He popped open the envelope and pulled out a note and a piece of sketch paper folded in half. When he opened the sketch, he recognized it immediately as the drawing of him laying in bed but it had been fleshed out a bit more.  Sam was now fully realized along side him and water colored flesh brought the whole piece to a new level.  It was beautiful, and intimate, and the lump forming in his throat was threatening to betray him.  He stumbled around the car to climb into the driver's side and shut the door before unfolding the note.

>  "Gabe,
> 
>  I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't worth yelling from the rooftops for.  You are and I'll yell from any rooftop in town, tomorrow night.  You pick the place. 
> 
> I'll pick you up at 7pm.
> 
> Yours, Sam"

He gently folded the note back and tucked it into his shirt pocket. The urge to call was strong but he fought it.  Sam was starting at the precinct in the morning and he needed his rest. A 2am call from the neighbor boy was probably not going to be all that restful. Somehow he managed to make his way home and into the elevator with his head swimming.  The elevator doors dinged open and he stepped out into the hall he shared with Sam.  He wondered how he was sleeping and if he'd been as distracted as he himself had been. Gabe set the flowers down in the hall and moved to unlock his door when he realized he was hearing the television in Sam's apartment.  For a moment he thought about knocking on the door but decided against it.  He probably left it on for background noise or something.  Popping his own door open, he picked up the flowers and then in his haste to get through the door, dropped all of the food he was carrying in the hall.  The tile was going to make it easy to clean up but it echoed so loudly that he was sure he'd awakened the whole building.  He was only partly surprised when Sam's apartment door cracked open, a very bleary eyed Sam poking his head into the hall.  Gabriel hung his head sheepishly and smiled. 

"Heya Sammy.  Still wanna yell from a rooftop?" Gabe smirked at him, hands full of ribs, fries, and broken styrofoam containers.  Sam grinned and rubbed at his neck.  God he looked good, all sex haired and leggy. Those PJ pants were properly rumpled and hanging deliciously low, and who the hell needed a shirt when you were built like that.  Gabe drug his eyes back up to Sam's face by sheer will because his body just wasn't cooperating.

"I meant what I said, Gabe.  Any rooftop in town.  Now, if I help you clean up this mess will you come get in my bed?" The sleep induced gravel in his voice curled right into Gabe's gut.

"You're sure about this Sam? You're sure you're ready?" Gabe's heart took over for just a second while doubt flooded his core.

"I already came out to Dean.  That was my major hurdle, everything else is cake.  I want to be with you, Gabriel." The sincerity in his eyes broke Gabe's resolve.  Arms out wide so he didn't get any mess on this perfect human, Gabriel approached and pulled playfully at Sam's lips with his own. "Am I imagining things or do you taste like barbecue sauce?" Sam laughed at his own joke as Gabe squinted disdainfully.

"Let me clean up this mess and then I'm going to come through that door and god help you when I do."  Gabe cocked an eyebrow as he backed away toward his open door.

"Oh hurt me please, sir.." part humor and part request, he backed into his own apartment and grinned as Gabe spun to hurriedly drop the trash in the can and wipe up the floor.  

* * *

 

When Gabe had cleaned himself up as well, he let himself into Sam's apartment, following the light of the bedroom through the darkness that enveloped the rest of the place.  His lover's naked form laid out on the bed, pulled him up short in the doorway.  He was sprawled like something out of a men's magazine, left arm tucked up under his head, opening his chest up wide. His right knee, cocked out to the side, would have given Gabe a good look at the promised land had there not been a white sheet pulled up between his legs and over his thigh, just enough to cover the cock that just jerked beneath it.  Sam's eyes grew soft as Gabe let his own wash over the meal before him.  Taking in every uncovered inch of skin, ridge of muscle, stretch of tendon, curled hair and speck of freckle, he didn't want to miss anything.

He sucked in a breath when he finally could speak. "Goddamn Sam. How on earth did I get this lucky..." It wasn't so much a question as an expression of wonder at the man before him.  

"Take the shirt off, Gabe." The look on Sam's face brooked no questions. Gabe began unbuttoning his shirt as his eyes locked with the one's flashing from the bed. He made his way close enough that Sam could reach to touch him before he finally dropped his shirt to the floor. Sam's long fingers trached down over Gabe's chest, tugging softly on the sparse hairs to draw a low groan from the man.  Finally he settled on his belt buckle, wrapping his fingers over the waistband of his pants, he used it as leverage to spin himself into a sitting position with Gabriel situated between his naked thighs.  His rapidly hardening cock, already beginning to leak, pulled a ragged gasp from Gabe.  He wanted desperately to get his mouth around Sam but it was becoming clear that Sam wanted control this time.

Sam ripped the belt from the loops of Gabe's pants and lay hot, wet, open kisses down his torso and onto his hip as he pushed his pants and boxer briefs to the floor.  He bit gently into his hip, before breaking away to lay back on the bed,  he motioned to Gabriel to come with.  Hungry as he was, Gabe immediately went for Sam's thickening length.  It jerked in response when his fingers wrapped around it, readying for a taste. 

"No.  Sit on my chest. Let me taste you." Sam's deep rasp spoke of the need they both felt.  Gabe wasn't used to taking orders but this wasn't one he was going to ignore. He moved up Sam's warm chest, marveling at the firmness of it and how it rippled as he moved. His cock strained just a couple inches from Sam's lips and he stopped.  Sam licked his lips like a hungry lion sizing up his prey.  Knees into the mattress, Gabe lifted his ass off of Sam's chest and grabbed onto the top of the headboard.  Sam's tongue took a tentative lick, softly swiping at the cleft in the tip of his cock.  Gabe's cock jumped as he hissed out his approval.  

"You like that, do you?" Sam grinned.  Gabe smirked as his own words came back to haunt him.

"God yes, Sam.  Do it again..." Sam's tongue lapped at Gabe's swollen tip a little more firmly this time before sucking it into his mouth, his long fingers grabbing onto Gabe's ass, spreading his cheeks obscenely.

"Fuck.  I'm gonna cum fast if you keep this up." Sam's moaned against the tight skin in his mouth, tongue swirling around the tip of Gabe's sensitive member.  The moan sent vibrations through his core, and almost took his legs out from under him.

"Shut up and fuck my mouth."  Gabe didn't need an engraved invitation.  Holding tight to the headboard, he began thrusting slowly and shallowly into Sam's warm, moist, mouth.  His cheeks concaved with the suction as he worked to take this man apart.  His fingers kneading into his muscled ass cheeks, controlling the thrusts and driving him deeper as he swallowed around Gabe's girth.  The wrecked moans falling from his lover's lips had Sam dripping onto his chest for the second time that night.  Before long, Gabriel's hips stuttered as he cried out his release.

"God Sam, SAM, oh fuck...oh...fuck." He collapsed onto the bed next to Sam, fingers sliding into his hair to pull that beautiful mouth to his own.  He wanted to taste himself on those lips, and know he'd been there. That Sam was his. It was primal and needy but he didn't care.  Sam rolled onto his side, his mouth crashing into Gabe's, a mess of tongue and teeth and urgent need.  For the first time in a long time Gabe wanted to be fully owned by this man.  Desire outweighed sanity for an instant as he cried out for Sam to fill him.

Sam bruised a kiss into Gabe's neck before pulling the lube from the bedside table drawer.  He slicked up his fingers as he shouldered into the pit of Gabe's knee, pushing it up toward his chest. A slippery finger tip rubbed against his puckered hole as Sam's tongue lapped at the soft skin behind his balls.  The smaller man keened and begged until finally Sam slipped one finger inside, rotating around until Gabriel relaxed around it.  Licking and sucking the crook of his hip as Gabe moaned and writhed beneath him.  Ever so gently he slipped finger number two inside and scissored his fingers slowly, opening Gabriel up.  The burn was delicious and Sam rewarded him with strokes against the bundle of nerves that drove him wild.  When Gabe began to fuck back against his long fingers, he knew it was time.  He slipped a condom on and positioned himself with this cock pressing gently against Gabe's rim.

"Are you good, baby? You want this?" Sam's concerned look swelled in Gabe's heart and choked him.  He nodded emphatically as Sam slowly pushed past his rim with a pop.  Both of the men groaned their appreciation for the tight grip of Gabe's body and the fullness Sam's cock provided.  Waiting a moment for Gabe to relax again, Sam, lazily brushed his fingers up and down Gabe's inner thighs as they looked into eachother's eyes.  Sam bit his lip to keep from moaning when Gabriel gave him the nod to move.

His hips slid into action, slowly filling and withdrawing, stroking against that smooth mound of nerves with every thrust.  Gabe's hands flew into his own hair as he cried out for Sam not to stop.  Sam's head lulled back as he fought to keep going, the muscles in his abdomen rippling with every thrust and driving Gabriel insane with lust.  His cock began to thicken again though it was clear he wasn't going to full mast.  Sam's fingers wrapped lazily around Gabe's shaft as he sucked a mark into his inner thigh, hips picking up speed with every thrust.  He was chasing his own release and so damn close he just couldn't stop.  

"Don't stop baby, cum for me...cum for me Sam."  With the last few strokes, Sam ratcheted out his own finish while pulling Gabe over the finish line with him.  He wobbled on his knees as he slipped from the other man's body.  The condom stripped and tossed in the can in one motion so that he could wrap himself around this man he couldn't get enough of.  Gasps wracked him as Gabriel soothed.  "Christ, that was amazing. I don't even know what to say."  He combed Sam's sweaty hair away from his face, reverently.  This man was a gift and he'd shown him a side of himself that he didn't know was there.

"I've never.  I mean." Sam took a moment to get his breathing under control before continuing. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I've never done that before." Gabe grinned back at this sweet man in wonder.  

"No Sammy. You did amazing. I've never cum twice and definitely not from penetration.  You're my kryptonite." He brushed his lips against Sam's and kissed him softly, fingers trailing through his hair, over and over, in a calming rhythm.  Before long, soft snores bubbled from the giant in his arms.  Gabe ignored the grumbles from his empty stomach in favor of staying right where he belonged.  He grabbed a blanket off the end of the bed and slung it over the two of them before letting his body mold to Sam's in slumber.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a coming out of the proverbial closet story so any feedback from someone who's actually lived this experience would be more than welcome. I'm always trying to do better and learn more.
> 
> Comments are the fuel that keeps the fire burning, even if it's just a quick "loved it". If you enjoy it, please take just a moment to let me know. Thanks!


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